By Johnny Blondo May 19, 2019
The Garveys limped into Jerk Park on Friday with a 2 and 5 season record, having lost their last 5 games. The Fuzzballs broke open the scoring with a run in the first but only managed 3 runs over the following 8 innings due to a strong start by the righty Stephen Strasburg. The Garveys starter didn’t get to pitch as long as manager Steve Garvey would have liked due to an “idiotic” (as Garvey called it) incident in the 7th inning. With no outs and the speedy Francisco Lindor on 1st, Strasburg was ejected for hitting Gary ‘The Kraken’ Sanchez with a high and inside fastball. “That felt good”, said Strasburg, “that was payback for what they did to Walk!” he continued with a wry smile. He was immediately corrected by teammate Byron Buxton who whispered to him that it was the Dry Worms that beaned Neil Walker and not the Fuzzballs. “Oops,” said Strasburg in response. “Total idiot” said manager Garvey, “I mean, who does that?? Who doesn’t remember it was the Dry Worms? Now I know why they say million dollar arm and 5-cent head.”
AJ Ramos took over for Strasburg, pitching 3 scoreless frames with 5 K’s. “Ram (pronounced ‘Rom’) was masterful tonight…classic AJ” barked catcher Garver “they (Fuzzball batters) were stumped, they had no idea what he was throwing at them”.
Garveys 2nd baseman Whit Merrifield, who was called up to replace the injured Neil Walker stole 2 bases during the game, one of which led to the Garveys first run. Merrifield also stole the hearts of the Fuzzball fans, “‘It was really weird, there were tons of Fuzzball fans screaming ‘We love you Whit’ and ‘Look at me Whit’ during the game” said Garveys left fielder Dustin Fowler “it was actually kinda creepy, especially since it was an away game” he continued “and it wasn’t just 1 or 2 fans, it was like half the stadium!” And it wasn’t just the fans that were taken by Whit Merrifield’s on-field charm as rumors were swirling after the game that the Jerk Fuzzballs were offering as many as four players including prospects for Merrifield. “We got several calls from the Jerks shortly after the game inquiring about Whit” said Garveys GM Mike Garvey “yah, they (the Jerk Fuzzballs) sounded pretty desperate but that’s all I can say about the matter”.
Bour, Arenado, and Marwin Gonzalez provided some much needed offense for the Garveys, driving in all 7 runs on triples and homers. “We’re back!” shouted Bour in the clubhouse after the game “America’s Team is back!” which led to bottles of champagne being sprayed amongst the players and onlookers.
The Garveys take on the Dry Worms next.
Johnny Blondo has been a reporter for BatBreaker since 2018.